Falling in love. We’ve all done it. Life just isn’t nearly as fulfilling without having fallen in love at least once. Some people take the plunge and jump headfirst off a very large cliff straight into what they believe will be a pool deep and wide enough in which to bathe in love forever. Others have taken that fall and have found that the pool isn’t nearly deep or wide enough and they are badly hurt. Many just poke a toe or two in to test the waters, ever cautious in case the water should be too hot or too cold. We call those that take the leap without hesitation fools because love is something that should be carefully considered with thoughtful insight as to the possible consequences of what pain may lay in the aftermath if things just don’t go our way. We berate those who have been hurt before saying that the past is the past and it is time to move on. And we applaud the water pokers who stick only a toe in before deciding whether or not this is a no-go. We think that these people are responsible because they get close enough to enjoy the rewards of loving and being loved, but they are also far away enough to not be devastated when there is love lost. Me, I am one of the reckless ones. I am learning to love with abandon. Seemingly I am disparaging all reason and moving into uncharted waters. This is in more ways than one and I have never been this way before.
I am hopelessly in love with the work I am doing here. I am unabashedly in love with the children who are touching my life here and are allowing me a peek into theirs. When I see little Thembi, who was not walking when I arrived, take 62, yes 62, steps across the yard at the babies home without falling; my heart swells with pride and I am in awe of her. How can such a little creature learn a skill that she will develop the rest of her life in such a short amount of time? I arrive at school and I look into the windows of the classrooms to see blind children coloring inside the lines and autistic children singing songs with the correct words. I am absolutely fascinated by the human spirit and the drive to want to create and be recreated. Most of these children are orphans, live in homes with five or more people to a room, sleep in flea infested beds, starve on the weekends, freeze in the winters, and burn with fever in the summers. They have every reason to sit in the dirt and idly let the days slip away. But they don’t. We say the kids here are disabled, but we are not entirely right. They are not disabled as much as they are differently-abled. These children laugh, swing, jump, scream, and play as much as “normal” kids do. The world is so stacked against them and their chances of escaping some of their circumstances are grim. Yet, they smile and they are happy. Every giggle and every new step taken by these children is another reminder that circumstances do not determine happiness; only you have the power to decide that. This is a hard lesson I have had to learn here. In the absence of so much, there is still so much to be thankful for.
So I am in love once again. This time not with a new hobby or with a new partner; rather, with the children here and the work I am doing. A few people have brought up the point that I should try to remain somewhat emotionally detached from those that I work with because in truth there will be a terrible amount of sadness that will come with loving these children and this job. Maybe remaining detached would shield me a bit from the pain of seeing others suffer and die, but I am sorry, I just cannot do that. They say you cannot choose the person you love, only how you will love them. It is my decision to love these kids in spite of the hurt that I know will come. It is my decision to give myself entirely to this job and to take that plunge. I know I do not have to, but I want to. I would rather love and lose then to remain on the sidelines wondering what this would be like if I could just step in. This is the most rewarding thing I have ever done because at the end of the day I realize that I given so much but I have gained far more. A ton of children have taught me this and a special someone continuously helps me be aware of and grateful for the small miracles everyday. So folks, today decide to do one thing that scare the pants right off of you and make it happen. Do something courageous and if it was the right decision, you will know and if it was wrong, you will know as well; but at least you can say you found out. And if this is difficult, and it probably will be, ask yourself what are you gaining by standing outside the fire? Just try it…I’m glad I did.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Overworked, Not Paid, and Completely Content With That
Being a Peace Corps volunteer is at some times exciting, other times mundane, and always exhausting. I cannot say that this is true for every one in the Peace Corps or even for my group as a whole, but for me, I have never worked harder in my life. While I am not building homes like I did with Habitat for Humanity or ripping small trees out of the earth like I did for ASB Florida, I am so challenged with the work I am doing because it is so much harder to constantly bend your mind than it is to break your back. I am at work right now during tea break/recess, and taking a moment to drink my cold instant coffee and write a little. This is one of the few times of the day when life is relatively quiet. When I say relatively quiet, I mean exactly that. There are fifty students with different disabilities ranging from autism, mental retardation, Downs syndrome, and cerebral palsy to disassociated language disorders, hearing impairment and limited sight disorders; and the majority of them are running around the school screaming, crying, squeaking, yelping, clapping, laughing, and/or jumping up and down. Screaming kids + recess = a very much needed tea break. At two o’clock today I will leave school, go the library to return my books/ get some quiet, pick up some groceries, visit the post office, and then return home to eight more excited children. While this is exhausting at times, it is not overwhelming.
I signed my contract for the Peace Corps having a few ideas of what I might be doing in Africa and this was not at all what I expected. This is FAR better than I could have ever imagined. I have never laughed and learned so much in my entire life as I have done here. Today marks the 100th day since I left home, as a very special somebody pointed out to me today. Today marks the day of 100 days unforgettable memories and unbelievable experiences. When people ask me what life is like for me here, I say “It’s great. I am having the time of my life and it is challenging” and all of those things are true. However, I realize that answer is fairly lame and unimaginative. It is just that it is so difficult to put into words how and what I do daily. Things that might seems insignificant in the States are a huge deal to me here and I try to explain my day or what I am up to and it just falls so short of helping people to understand this. For instance, the other day in the grocery store I asked for some bread in Zulu and also where to find better avocados and I got and understood the reply that was in Zulu. This might not be a big deal to many people who go to the grocery store and understand what is being said to them, but for me it was a great big deal when someone replied to me in Zulu even when they speak English. It made me feel more accepted and now every time that I go to Pick n’ Pay I talk to that lady in the bread aisle about her day and her family in my very lacking Zulu. Also, when I walk out of the store sometimes, people shout “Nqobile” and I wave to the teachers from my school or from my friends in eMondlo. This wouldn’t mean as much in the States where you see people you know everyday, but here, where I am a virtual stranger to almost everyone I see daily, it means the world for someone to notice me and take the time to say hello. It also makes my heart swell when I get home and have little Mpatho running up to me with his arms open wide screaming “Aunti Christi, you are here” and then he allows me to pick him up and swing him around while wrapped in a big bear hug. While I can’t be around my siblings to read them stories at bedtime or play with them outside, I had 21 other little ones that are a wonderful addition to my life and are entirely unique in their own ways. I really wish I could say something more substantial now but I must get back to work. Until then…
I signed my contract for the Peace Corps having a few ideas of what I might be doing in Africa and this was not at all what I expected. This is FAR better than I could have ever imagined. I have never laughed and learned so much in my entire life as I have done here. Today marks the 100th day since I left home, as a very special somebody pointed out to me today. Today marks the day of 100 days unforgettable memories and unbelievable experiences. When people ask me what life is like for me here, I say “It’s great. I am having the time of my life and it is challenging” and all of those things are true. However, I realize that answer is fairly lame and unimaginative. It is just that it is so difficult to put into words how and what I do daily. Things that might seems insignificant in the States are a huge deal to me here and I try to explain my day or what I am up to and it just falls so short of helping people to understand this. For instance, the other day in the grocery store I asked for some bread in Zulu and also where to find better avocados and I got and understood the reply that was in Zulu. This might not be a big deal to many people who go to the grocery store and understand what is being said to them, but for me it was a great big deal when someone replied to me in Zulu even when they speak English. It made me feel more accepted and now every time that I go to Pick n’ Pay I talk to that lady in the bread aisle about her day and her family in my very lacking Zulu. Also, when I walk out of the store sometimes, people shout “Nqobile” and I wave to the teachers from my school or from my friends in eMondlo. This wouldn’t mean as much in the States where you see people you know everyday, but here, where I am a virtual stranger to almost everyone I see daily, it means the world for someone to notice me and take the time to say hello. It also makes my heart swell when I get home and have little Mpatho running up to me with his arms open wide screaming “Aunti Christi, you are here” and then he allows me to pick him up and swing him around while wrapped in a big bear hug. While I can’t be around my siblings to read them stories at bedtime or play with them outside, I had 21 other little ones that are a wonderful addition to my life and are entirely unique in their own ways. I really wish I could say something more substantial now but I must get back to work. Until then…
Saturday, April 19, 2008
I've got game
Zebras, giraffes, rhinos…oh my! Today I went to Ithala Game Reserve. Ithala is only 45 minutes from my home here and is even closer than our big shopping town so my principal decided to take me there today. Ithala Game Reserve is a KwaZulu Natal game park that has many of the Big Five animals that tourists and game lovers alike love to catch a glimpse of. For seven hours, I rode around in a VW Polo sighting giraffes, zebras, impalas, springbok, rhinos, kudu, rock rabbit, partridges, and warthogs. It was absolutely amazing! This might have been the best day yet I have had in South Africa.
Before we even got into the park, we passed a giraffe standing on the side of the road and we had to reverse the car because we almost missed it. As odd as it might sound that you could miss sighting a giant animal, such as a giraffe, just chilling on the side of the road, it is so common. The animals are very well camouflaged into the landscape so it is easy to just drive right pass them without noticing them there at all. We did this two times that we were aware of with giraffes. There are elephants at the park as well but we were unable to sight any. The park is a really relaxed area because there are no dangerous big cats, such as lions, to worry about. The scenery is absolutely astounding and I really am at a loss for words to describe what it felt like to stand on the side of the cliff of one of the tallest mountains in the park looking down on the Pongola River. The wind gently swept through the bush as lizards scurried around my feet and the sun beat down on my face. I stood there and I thought to myself “I am in Africa and this feels like home”. Though I might not live here for the rest of my life, or even for more than two more years, I am entirely sure that I will come and visit this place whenever possible. There is just something incredibly humbling standing on the top of a mountain in the bush with just the sun on your skin, the wind in your hair, and nothing but nature all around you. I felt so small compared to the vast expanse of untouched beauty. I really don’t know the words in English, Spanish, or Zulu that would do a shred of justice to what I saw today. I am the luckiest Peace Corps Volunteer ever!
Besides the amazing day today though, life is carrying on as normal; that is if there is such a thing as normal for me here. I volunteered for 52 hours this week and am volunteering for another 11 tomorrow. I have to keep busy here or else I know it will be very easy to fall into patterns of loneliness and routine. I know Peace Corps stresses establishing a routine as a way to cope with all of the changes that living and working in an unfamiliar culture presents; however, I have almost no routine here. I know that I will establish one, but right now I am content not having one at all. It really brings a bit of variety to life not knowing what I will be doing in two days time. Oh yes, I have plenty of plans, but this is Africa and the best of plans sometimes go awry. Oh well, such is life. Until next time…
Before we even got into the park, we passed a giraffe standing on the side of the road and we had to reverse the car because we almost missed it. As odd as it might sound that you could miss sighting a giant animal, such as a giraffe, just chilling on the side of the road, it is so common. The animals are very well camouflaged into the landscape so it is easy to just drive right pass them without noticing them there at all. We did this two times that we were aware of with giraffes. There are elephants at the park as well but we were unable to sight any. The park is a really relaxed area because there are no dangerous big cats, such as lions, to worry about. The scenery is absolutely astounding and I really am at a loss for words to describe what it felt like to stand on the side of the cliff of one of the tallest mountains in the park looking down on the Pongola River. The wind gently swept through the bush as lizards scurried around my feet and the sun beat down on my face. I stood there and I thought to myself “I am in Africa and this feels like home”. Though I might not live here for the rest of my life, or even for more than two more years, I am entirely sure that I will come and visit this place whenever possible. There is just something incredibly humbling standing on the top of a mountain in the bush with just the sun on your skin, the wind in your hair, and nothing but nature all around you. I felt so small compared to the vast expanse of untouched beauty. I really don’t know the words in English, Spanish, or Zulu that would do a shred of justice to what I saw today. I am the luckiest Peace Corps Volunteer ever!
Besides the amazing day today though, life is carrying on as normal; that is if there is such a thing as normal for me here. I volunteered for 52 hours this week and am volunteering for another 11 tomorrow. I have to keep busy here or else I know it will be very easy to fall into patterns of loneliness and routine. I know Peace Corps stresses establishing a routine as a way to cope with all of the changes that living and working in an unfamiliar culture presents; however, I have almost no routine here. I know that I will establish one, but right now I am content not having one at all. It really brings a bit of variety to life not knowing what I will be doing in two days time. Oh yes, I have plenty of plans, but this is Africa and the best of plans sometimes go awry. Oh well, such is life. Until next time…
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Workin' it
I am posting this from Inkanyiso Special School. I have been working on grant proposal research since I arrived this morning at 7:30 and it is now almost 11:00 and I have yet to leave this desk. Whoever said that being in the Peace Corps would be easy relaxed work was wrong. Though I am relaxed, the work that I am doing certainly is not. It is much easier to do research in America where you just type information in Google and/or other search programs and thousands of answers pop up for you to take the your pickings of. It is not as easy here. I am constrained by my data bundle and am entirely sure that I am just going to spend the extra seventy Rand and get the big bundle so that I can curb this problem a bit. Regardless, I still have it made here though.
I am not entirely sure what I last updated my blog with and going back to check would be a waste of data. So, here is the scoop and I am sorry for the probable repeats. I am still staying at my principals house for this week because we have not had the time to finish putting the shelves up in my place yet. However, I did buy a very 70s retro disco looking green carpet, which is my opinion is absolutely awesome, and we put it down a few days ago. Then, I liberated a few shelves from my principal’s daughter’s flat behind her home and put those up as well. My principal’s husband, who is the most jolly English South African I have ever met, made me a shelf unit with a bar hang so that I can hang clothes as well as store them. I am revamping a lamp that I recently borrowed from my principal as well. It is pink and very 80esque. We are moving the bed and a table in tonight or tomorrow after we put up the burglar bars and burglar door. So as you can tell, much is happening in the way of making the “servant’s quarters” less of an oppressive space and more of a home. Listening to the rain on the tin roof in my new room will be pretty amazing. Once we get it all finished pictures of the place will be uploaded. I am excited to move in but I am also having a wonderful time with the Logans. They are fabulous and very excited about the work that I am going to be doing here and they really want me to be able to go back to America in two years saying that I had the time of my life.
The weather here is changing. Whoever said that Africa is always warm obviously had never been to South Africa. It is our fall now and we are quickly slipping into winter weather. It is not necessarily that cold during the day, it is just that there is no insulation in most of the buildings so at night when the temperature drops so suddenly you really can feel it. Ngiqhoke amavesti ababili nejacketi ne ngiyagodola manje! (Zulu for: I am wearing two sweaters now and a jacket and I am still cold now). The awesome thing is that it only took me ten seconds to think of how to say and spell that in Zulu…I am making progress! Regarding my Zulu, I have not yet found a proper Zulu tutor but this is because I am learning Zulu from the staff here at my school and at the babies home. I really want to work to become fluent or nearly fluent within the next two years. I think this is possible but it will take a lot of work because Zulu is not a romance language and it also has clicks thus making it exponentially more difficult than learning Spanish was. My Zulu name is Nqobile and the click is on the “q”. I promise it is easier than it may look.
My work is being cut out for me here and there is so much to do. I volunteered for 21 hours this weekend at the Inkululeko Babies Home. It was me, Cindy, and thirteen abandoned babies all under the age of three. Needless to say, it was hectic but it was awesome. There really is no way to describe the sheer cuteness of those babies. They would scream and cry during bath time and at meals and this would obviously be frustrating. But then they would smile with their little no teeth grins and dimples and all of the frustration just melted away. This weekend I have discovered that I am a master of multitasking. Standing up, I can feed two babies porridge from two separate bowls with both hands and rock the four month old to sleep in his carriage with my knee while also holding a crying two year old on my hid. I know you raised four of us but beat that Ma! Obviously, working at Inkanyiso so far has been a lot less stressful but this is simply because all of the children do not return to school until May 5th. So right now, we are just preparing for their return by cleaning everything, working on proposals and plans, and making cosmetic changes to the classrooms.
I must apologize to my family and friends for not answering the phone when they call sometimes. It is just that after nine my time (three in VA) I am absolutely exhausted and have a hard time having a good quality conversation and I am afraid that answering the phone with a tired voice and nothing to say will make it seem like I am unhappy here, which I am not. Moral of the story folks, call between 2:30-3:00 pm SA time or 8-9 SA time here or on the weekends at any time. If I don’t answer the phone or e-mails I am sorry, I am just really busy. However family, please know that I am working on sending a package home. I have about half of the stuff I want to send now but am looking for a few other things still. Also, I still love receiving mail and packages so feel free to send something this way whenever. My address is up in the air now so please do not send any mail to the Pretoria address until I can get a permanent address or PO Box to receive my mail. Salani kahle (stay well)!
I am not entirely sure what I last updated my blog with and going back to check would be a waste of data. So, here is the scoop and I am sorry for the probable repeats. I am still staying at my principals house for this week because we have not had the time to finish putting the shelves up in my place yet. However, I did buy a very 70s retro disco looking green carpet, which is my opinion is absolutely awesome, and we put it down a few days ago. Then, I liberated a few shelves from my principal’s daughter’s flat behind her home and put those up as well. My principal’s husband, who is the most jolly English South African I have ever met, made me a shelf unit with a bar hang so that I can hang clothes as well as store them. I am revamping a lamp that I recently borrowed from my principal as well. It is pink and very 80esque. We are moving the bed and a table in tonight or tomorrow after we put up the burglar bars and burglar door. So as you can tell, much is happening in the way of making the “servant’s quarters” less of an oppressive space and more of a home. Listening to the rain on the tin roof in my new room will be pretty amazing. Once we get it all finished pictures of the place will be uploaded. I am excited to move in but I am also having a wonderful time with the Logans. They are fabulous and very excited about the work that I am going to be doing here and they really want me to be able to go back to America in two years saying that I had the time of my life.
The weather here is changing. Whoever said that Africa is always warm obviously had never been to South Africa. It is our fall now and we are quickly slipping into winter weather. It is not necessarily that cold during the day, it is just that there is no insulation in most of the buildings so at night when the temperature drops so suddenly you really can feel it. Ngiqhoke amavesti ababili nejacketi ne ngiyagodola manje! (Zulu for: I am wearing two sweaters now and a jacket and I am still cold now). The awesome thing is that it only took me ten seconds to think of how to say and spell that in Zulu…I am making progress! Regarding my Zulu, I have not yet found a proper Zulu tutor but this is because I am learning Zulu from the staff here at my school and at the babies home. I really want to work to become fluent or nearly fluent within the next two years. I think this is possible but it will take a lot of work because Zulu is not a romance language and it also has clicks thus making it exponentially more difficult than learning Spanish was. My Zulu name is Nqobile and the click is on the “q”. I promise it is easier than it may look.
My work is being cut out for me here and there is so much to do. I volunteered for 21 hours this weekend at the Inkululeko Babies Home. It was me, Cindy, and thirteen abandoned babies all under the age of three. Needless to say, it was hectic but it was awesome. There really is no way to describe the sheer cuteness of those babies. They would scream and cry during bath time and at meals and this would obviously be frustrating. But then they would smile with their little no teeth grins and dimples and all of the frustration just melted away. This weekend I have discovered that I am a master of multitasking. Standing up, I can feed two babies porridge from two separate bowls with both hands and rock the four month old to sleep in his carriage with my knee while also holding a crying two year old on my hid. I know you raised four of us but beat that Ma! Obviously, working at Inkanyiso so far has been a lot less stressful but this is simply because all of the children do not return to school until May 5th. So right now, we are just preparing for their return by cleaning everything, working on proposals and plans, and making cosmetic changes to the classrooms.
I must apologize to my family and friends for not answering the phone when they call sometimes. It is just that after nine my time (three in VA) I am absolutely exhausted and have a hard time having a good quality conversation and I am afraid that answering the phone with a tired voice and nothing to say will make it seem like I am unhappy here, which I am not. Moral of the story folks, call between 2:30-3:00 pm SA time or 8-9 SA time here or on the weekends at any time. If I don’t answer the phone or e-mails I am sorry, I am just really busy. However family, please know that I am working on sending a package home. I have about half of the stuff I want to send now but am looking for a few other things still. Also, I still love receiving mail and packages so feel free to send something this way whenever. My address is up in the air now so please do not send any mail to the Pretoria address until I can get a permanent address or PO Box to receive my mail. Salani kahle (stay well)!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Picking Up
I am sitting here in the lounge in my principal’s home thinking that I am one lucky son of a gun. After long conversations and moving things around a bit, I have finally found a place to live that is suitable for me and for the work I am going to be doing. Most volunteers would hate this set-up because it involves living at the location where you work. However, after being an RA for two years and living in a room about the size of a cracker-jack box, I am sure that this living situation will work out just fine. I cannot give the location of where I am living for security reasons for myself and the children, however, I can say that if you want my address, you can get it from Nida or my family. I will be working at Inkanyiso Special School Monday through Thursday and also at Inkululeko Babies Home every afternoon and on Fridays. I am starting my first two days at the babies home this weekend because they are short staffed. I visited the babies home yesterday and I must say that I have never seen cuter babies in my entire life. I am already so attached to a beautiful four month old baby boy. He is absolutely gorgeous despite the fact that he is missing half of his right arm and is a bit scarred on his face. His cuteness is only surpassed by his funniness. He will mimic any facial expression I make with such precision that I cannot believe he is only four months old. There are some twins at the babies home who are also absolutely adorable and one of them will just throw his head back so fast that it nearly scares you to death the first time he does it when he is held just so that he can crane his neck around to see anything and everything that is going on. Already I can tell that this experience is shaping up to be the time of my life.
Anyone who knows me is aware that I simply cannot be content being inactive. I must have something to do at all times even if that means that I am just reading, writing, or shooting the breeze with a friend. Even though this attitude is changing as I am here in South Africa, my pace has not. I am always doing something. In the past four days, I have been to two braiis (cook-outs for you Americans =), played with numerous HIV positive orphans, visited a school, attended two war re-enactments, made five new friends, found a place to live, seen my first rugby match, eaten pickled fish (sounds gross but is absolutely delicious), enjoyed South African wine with the neighbor, been made fun of numerous time because of my accent, joined the library, and signed myself up for a nearly full time secondary project. I used to write in a journal before I went to college and have begun writing again and I am absolutely amazed everyday at the person I was yesterday. Please do not get me wrong, I am not amazed by me because frankly I am not all that amazing. What I am amazed by is how I am changing everyday. My body is pretty much the same, maybe a few pounds lighter, but my mind is a great deal heavier. There are just so many more windows and doors open in my mind then there ever were before. In America, I felt like the world was open to me, however, after moving abroad I realized that this actually was true. I have realized that I was not born to live inside any one border for the entirety of my life. I am not saying that I will always live overseas, because I have no intention on doing so at this point. What I am saying is that the possibilities seem endless now and I simply could not see standing on American soil.
If it wasn’t so expensive, I would upload more pictures to the internet because I feel like my words are lacking and that pictures just explain this experience so much better. I cannot take pictures of the babies now or disclose much about their status because I am bound by confidentiality, however, I will update this again soon and hopefully I will have lots of interesting anecdotes to share. Until then…salani kahle (stay well).
Anyone who knows me is aware that I simply cannot be content being inactive. I must have something to do at all times even if that means that I am just reading, writing, or shooting the breeze with a friend. Even though this attitude is changing as I am here in South Africa, my pace has not. I am always doing something. In the past four days, I have been to two braiis (cook-outs for you Americans =), played with numerous HIV positive orphans, visited a school, attended two war re-enactments, made five new friends, found a place to live, seen my first rugby match, eaten pickled fish (sounds gross but is absolutely delicious), enjoyed South African wine with the neighbor, been made fun of numerous time because of my accent, joined the library, and signed myself up for a nearly full time secondary project. I used to write in a journal before I went to college and have begun writing again and I am absolutely amazed everyday at the person I was yesterday. Please do not get me wrong, I am not amazed by me because frankly I am not all that amazing. What I am amazed by is how I am changing everyday. My body is pretty much the same, maybe a few pounds lighter, but my mind is a great deal heavier. There are just so many more windows and doors open in my mind then there ever were before. In America, I felt like the world was open to me, however, after moving abroad I realized that this actually was true. I have realized that I was not born to live inside any one border for the entirety of my life. I am not saying that I will always live overseas, because I have no intention on doing so at this point. What I am saying is that the possibilities seem endless now and I simply could not see standing on American soil.
If it wasn’t so expensive, I would upload more pictures to the internet because I feel like my words are lacking and that pictures just explain this experience so much better. I cannot take pictures of the babies now or disclose much about their status because I am bound by confidentiality, however, I will update this again soon and hopefully I will have lots of interesting anecdotes to share. Until then…salani kahle (stay well).
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Ubuntu "I am, because you are"
Well folks, I am happy to say that this might be one of the more poignant entries seeing as I have as much time as I choose to write it. Well not exactly as much time as I choose, because the power is out again and will probably not be back on until 7pm if it comes back on at all…good ole’ load shedding. If you do not know what load shedding is, as I did not before I came to SA, then you should google it. Basically, the need for electricity in SA exceeds the actual amount of electricity that can be provided. To meet the demand, Eskom (the electricity company) cuts of electricity in certain areas for a specific period of time everyday. Today we were at the internet café and the electricity went out at 4 and probably will not return for 2-4 hours. Obviously, this is bad for business. However, some restaurants offer “load shedding meals” which are meals that can be prepared without electricity since most businesses close during load shedding times. Okay…well that was far too long of an explanation and was probably incredibly boring to read..sorry.
Yesterday was my last day with first host family. It was an incredibly emotional day and for good reason. I came to South Africa with excitement, reservations, expectations, and dreams. I came believing that the twenty or so books I read about South Africa before I left has prepared me somewhat for this experience. However, from the moment I arrived, I realized how much I did not know and how much I needed to learn. My host family has been the catalyst for my learning and for the tremendous changes I have undergone in the past two months. I was first greeted by my family at Bakenburg Hall on February 9th with singing, dancing, hugs, and huge grins. They literally took me into their arms and made me a part of their family. Within 8 hours of being with them, they gave me an African name, Manakedi, which apparently means “one who made her mother cry with happiness when she was born”. They have called me Manakedi Kekana for the past two months. They took me, a white-foreign-non-Sepedi-speaking-recent-college-graduate-wet-behind-the-ears-young-woman, into their home and shared food, a roof, stories, laughs, and tears with no questions asked. They expected nothing from me in return for my stay and were so eager to teach me and learn from me. I have experienced many great acts of love from my family and friends back in the States before I came here because I have so many wonderful people in my life. However, the generosity and spirit the South African Kekana family is simply unmatched.
I packed my things yesterday and was ready to leave my family when my gogo (granny) came into my room and said to me “Manakedi, I never forget you. I remember you always. You are mine daughter.” I looked at gogo and tears filled both her eyes and mine. Then I hugged my brother Surprise and he would not make eye contact with me because he was on the verge of tears. Then Komojcho hugged me and said “Manakedi, I will miss you. We all will miss you”. I was still holding it together at this time, but then, Maishibe, my host sister and best friend here, held me hands and just looked at me and smiled with tears running down her face. I could not speak so I just held her and prayed that she would know how grateful I am for her and for all that she has taught me. She has one of the most kind and gentle spirits of anyone I know. Then it came time to say goodbye to Mama Francina. I hugged her and she touched my hair and said “I will miss you Manakedi.” Then she said nothing and a tear fell from her eye. This single tear from a woman who I have not seen cry or ever show any really loving emotion meant more to me than I could ever try explain in English, Spanish, or Zulu. Then my host sister Elizabeth, who rarely speaks to me, and my host sister Mailuci walked me to the bus stop. We walked in near silence because we understood how we felt and words were unnecessary. At the bus stop, Elizabeth, a girl who has maybe said 100 total words to me in two months, hugged me and cried. I was overwhelmed with emotion and it made me realize exactly how blessed I was to have become a Kekana. My name will change tomorrow to Nqobile Mdadlose but I will forever remain a Kekana in Limpopo.
Today I sworn in as a Peace Corps volunteer. I took an oath which was administered by the Ambassador and I realized exactly how much responsibility I have taken on. I am responsible for not only working towards creating sustainable, intentional, and transformational community HIV/AIDS outreach programs, but I am also an ambassador for my nation. I am representing America, some 300 million people. I hope to become a good representation of who I really want to be but more importantly, I want to make sure that I represent the best of my country. I understand that there are many things wrong with my nation right now, but we are growing and we are changing and I am doing the same. This experience has been incredibly challenging so far and there have been times where I have seriously considered giving up and coming home because that would be so simple. However, I know I need to be here. I need to know what I am made of. I want to be stripped bare, broken down, and rebuilt into the person that I really want to become. Life simply is not a dress rehearsal. I have only this one chance to have this experience so I must take it and get absolutely every thing I can out of it. This is Africa.
Yesterday was my last day with first host family. It was an incredibly emotional day and for good reason. I came to South Africa with excitement, reservations, expectations, and dreams. I came believing that the twenty or so books I read about South Africa before I left has prepared me somewhat for this experience. However, from the moment I arrived, I realized how much I did not know and how much I needed to learn. My host family has been the catalyst for my learning and for the tremendous changes I have undergone in the past two months. I was first greeted by my family at Bakenburg Hall on February 9th with singing, dancing, hugs, and huge grins. They literally took me into their arms and made me a part of their family. Within 8 hours of being with them, they gave me an African name, Manakedi, which apparently means “one who made her mother cry with happiness when she was born”. They have called me Manakedi Kekana for the past two months. They took me, a white-foreign-non-Sepedi-speaking-recent-college-graduate-wet-behind-the-ears-young-woman, into their home and shared food, a roof, stories, laughs, and tears with no questions asked. They expected nothing from me in return for my stay and were so eager to teach me and learn from me. I have experienced many great acts of love from my family and friends back in the States before I came here because I have so many wonderful people in my life. However, the generosity and spirit the South African Kekana family is simply unmatched.
I packed my things yesterday and was ready to leave my family when my gogo (granny) came into my room and said to me “Manakedi, I never forget you. I remember you always. You are mine daughter.” I looked at gogo and tears filled both her eyes and mine. Then I hugged my brother Surprise and he would not make eye contact with me because he was on the verge of tears. Then Komojcho hugged me and said “Manakedi, I will miss you. We all will miss you”. I was still holding it together at this time, but then, Maishibe, my host sister and best friend here, held me hands and just looked at me and smiled with tears running down her face. I could not speak so I just held her and prayed that she would know how grateful I am for her and for all that she has taught me. She has one of the most kind and gentle spirits of anyone I know. Then it came time to say goodbye to Mama Francina. I hugged her and she touched my hair and said “I will miss you Manakedi.” Then she said nothing and a tear fell from her eye. This single tear from a woman who I have not seen cry or ever show any really loving emotion meant more to me than I could ever try explain in English, Spanish, or Zulu. Then my host sister Elizabeth, who rarely speaks to me, and my host sister Mailuci walked me to the bus stop. We walked in near silence because we understood how we felt and words were unnecessary. At the bus stop, Elizabeth, a girl who has maybe said 100 total words to me in two months, hugged me and cried. I was overwhelmed with emotion and it made me realize exactly how blessed I was to have become a Kekana. My name will change tomorrow to Nqobile Mdadlose but I will forever remain a Kekana in Limpopo.
Today I sworn in as a Peace Corps volunteer. I took an oath which was administered by the Ambassador and I realized exactly how much responsibility I have taken on. I am responsible for not only working towards creating sustainable, intentional, and transformational community HIV/AIDS outreach programs, but I am also an ambassador for my nation. I am representing America, some 300 million people. I hope to become a good representation of who I really want to be but more importantly, I want to make sure that I represent the best of my country. I understand that there are many things wrong with my nation right now, but we are growing and we are changing and I am doing the same. This experience has been incredibly challenging so far and there have been times where I have seriously considered giving up and coming home because that would be so simple. However, I know I need to be here. I need to know what I am made of. I want to be stripped bare, broken down, and rebuilt into the person that I really want to become. Life simply is not a dress rehearsal. I have only this one chance to have this experience so I must take it and get absolutely every thing I can out of it. This is Africa.
Ngiba ivolunteer
I MADE IT! After two months of blood, sweat, tears, frustration, laughs, new friends, amazing sunsets, and a new family; I have finally sworn in as an official Peace Corps Volunteer!!! I am moving tomorrow to KZN for two years and am both anxious and excited about beginning this part of the journey. I will be writing much more poignant entries than I have been as soon as I settle into my permanent site. I have a cell phone now. I love getting mail, e-mail, and phone calls, so if you want my number, please let Nida know or my parents and they can hook you up. Thanks for the support. I promise to write a entry that isn't so lame next time.
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